So first of all, they're from high school and I hated high school. While I don't dislike them, I don't want to see them because its going to remind me of the failure I was in high school. I'm still struggling right now to achieve my goals. In fact, its been very rough these past years and its going to be rough the next couple of years. I can't deal with this right now because I'm not mature enough to hang out with former classmates and act like everything is okay. I feel better when I'm by myself because I don't feel like I'm dragging anyone down and my time gets spent towards my goals. Theres no drama and I don't feel bad about myself most of the time. Additionally, she has a boyfriend and I shamefully sent her an email telling her that I had a crush on her and wished her the best in life.