Ex bully, who pushed me down a staircase, contacted me to apologize and validate the extent of my bullying, and I desperately wish he didn’t.
Posted Dec 30, 2018 11:32 by anonymous
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6 comments
I moved to a small school in hawaii when I was 10 and the following five years were fucking hell.
I was immediately rejected. I was taunted nonstop, jumped before school, had rocks thrown at me riding my bike home, I was tripped, slammed into lockers, postage stamps stuck on my back and in my hair (to mail me back to the mainland), and too much more to list.
The worst incident was when I was in 7th grade.
An 8th grade boy (let’s call him Q) pushed me down a flight of stairs in between classes and I was busted up pretty bad. Broke a finger and got scabbed and bruised.
That wouldn’t have been so bad, if not for the fact that out of the 30ish bystanders, NOBODY helped me or discouraged him. A few people even laughed.
The fact that I was so alone in that moment was so humiliating. It felt like being picked last for baseball on a massive scale. I cried, but not because of pain, but because my feelings were hurt.
I looked up at Q, when I was on the ground, and asked “how could you do that to another person?” He just walked away looking satisfied with his choices.
14 years later, Q finds me on fb and apologizes for everything. There’s so much I want to say. I wanna tell him how horribly depressed and anxious I was. How every single jab at me chipped away more and more of my willingness to stay alive How I decided at 14 to chug a 5th of Smirnoff to see what fate would decide for me. I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t want to live.
Every time I sit down to reply to Q, my mind goes blank. I don’t know what to say....there’s just too much. Whenever I think about it, the humiliation, sadness, anxiety, loneliness, and urge to self harm floods back over me. I’m so embarrassed to feel this way, especially at 27. I just want to downplay everything, but he made me face that that shit was real, not an exaggeration and that makes me fucking sad. I didn’t want to open this box. It should have been my choice to and I’m angry that I have to look back at my humiliation.
I just don’t know what to say to him.
TDLR: one of my middle school bullies wrote me on fb to apologize 14 years later for throwing me down a staircase and contributing in making my life hell in general. I don’t know what to say to him.
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Commented Dec 30, 2018 12:05 by anonymous
Dude...I got suspended for 3 days due to some sexual shit I did with someone and being caught. The whole school laughed at me, ignored me, and NO DATES for me in middle school! EVER!!! Still lost girls, had people laugh at me, and had it brought up years later in high school...I had become big, outgoing, and it kind of shunted my social skills and wanting to deal with other people... That and other people are tools a lot as well. Anyway, there was this kid, was a grade below me who brought it up a lot in middle school...I never did a thing to him. Anyway, this year, that same kid posted on FB how he was celebrating one year of sobriety and thank you to everone who supported him. I messaged him a few months later and told him he sure could talk shit back in the day and guess how many times I've been black out drunk or hung over. 0... Then I told him I knew he was a pussy, but stop the everyone feel sorry for me I can't be an adult shit. He responded. Never read it. FUCK 'EM!!! It felt good to finally knock his ass when he was down on life. SO, I IMAGINE YOUR BULLY IS DOWN ON LIFE AND REFLECTING HEAVILY TO REMEMBER YOU...DON'T TELL HIM YOU FORGIVE HIM. THIS IS HOW THOSE SADISTIC FUCKERS WIN IN THE END AND YOU GET TO STROKE YOUR EGO AND FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF...Tell him you hope he gets hit by a drunk driver, he and his family get rare diseases, he has girls reject him and then hook up with guys right in front of him, he finds love and then gets cheated on, and bad people get the kids in his family alone. Also, financial ruin ensues...Yes, I've sent that to someone before. Have some self love those fuckers never gave you. Also, if you remember other people who hurt you in school call them fuckheads over fb. Shit is like free therapy. Hope this helps! From one happy go lucky kid who got turned into a raging depressed loner in school who bloomed as an adult to another...GOOD LUCK AND FUCK HIM!!!
Commented Dec 30, 2018 12:11 by anonymous
ALSO, I am the first poster again...Fuck the school system. Such bullshit I have to pay taxes into a system that fucks people like
you and I up and WASTED years of my life...and I don't even have kids. If I ever do, they're getting home schooled, AND THUS WILL BECOME MORE INTELLIGENT, unless it's to play sports and graduating early if at all possible.
Commented Dec 30, 2018 13:59 by anonymous
Kids are pussies, today. I went to school in the 70s-80s. We would take so much and stand up to our bullies. You took the beating on their terms or you surprised them and got in 1 or 2 good punches on your terms. I became friends with 3 of my bullies. I earned their respect.
Commented Dec 30, 2018 14:55 by anonymous
No, sir.
The comments above won't help at all.
Look, you have to understand that this guy, Q, had a change of mind. I believe he is ashamed for what he did and his apologies are genuine. I mean, who stops at any point of his life and thinks about the people they harmed?
I really think you should forgive him. It's going to be really good for you and the guy to turn the page once and for all, knowing that both of you want to be in peace with each other and with yourselves.
As for what to say to him. You should tell him that you appreciate the time spent on the message and that you're glad he's taking that bad side out of him. Tell him that everything is okay with you and him and wish him good luck. That's a concise message.
You really should look at the bright side of this, i mean, you have the intention of leaving this on the past and this is the perfect opportunity to do so. Few persons that were bullied as kids or teenagers could tell something like this.
That's my opinion. And I don't think you should listen to those guys. When we live with that greedy pride we make our lives and other's a lot more toxic.
Commented Dec 31, 2018 16:46 by anonymous
Ok...The guy above is back...and if you forgive him, he gets off scott free and you get to stroke your own ego and feel better about yourself because you're the bigger man. YOU DON'T OWE HIM A THING...OH, NOW HE FEELS BAD??!!! NOT A WEEK AFTER IT HAPPENED, BUT MANY YEARS LATER...You'll probably never see him again and his apology is jack shit that won't get you anything back in life. Tell him Yeah, ok, fuck you asshole AND THEN GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. VERBALLY PUSH THAT FUCKER DOWN THE STAIRS.
Commented Dec 31, 2018 16:49 by anonymous
You forgiving your abusers is how those fuckers win in the end, and no it's not toxic pride...Pride keeps you alive. It's called being a man and standing on your own two feet. Your hippie psychology won't fly here.