It's funny, I was 8, I was looking at a future of anger, it was all i felt. 13, I was looking at straight A's and a future. 14, Homeless, abandoned, when his siblings were allowed to stay, his parents didn't want him. 15, father got cancer. 16, I set myself up, I made myself a better person, I did everything i could to make my parent love me, 17, still trying, been through 4 homes and all of them family, who got tired of me. 2 months til18, dad became bed ridden, I ignored, instead trying to gain my father's love, pride, acceptance. 1 month before 18, spent every weekend at my father's, 15 days before 18, father passed, I lost my purpose. 18, stops going to school, destroys his scholarship he earned. Smoking to get to sleep. Mother still hates me, family abandoned, minimum wage job. I made myself think dad stopped loving, but he couldn't take care of me, I was wild, prone to anger. I was an asshole, a horrible son. I spent 4 long years trying to earn love I already had. Now I'm nothing, my life purpose, goal, just took his last gargled breath, muffled by his fucking flooded lungs, and I remain. It's funny, I was the strength my friends needed, I was the shoulder that others came to. I was the wise everyone came to for advice. To my friends, i was amazing. Now, I can't get out of bed, I cry on a pillow. I threw away my mind. I became what i never expected, minimum wage pothead. Funny, how the mighty fall. Fucking idiot kid, it wasn't gonna happen.