I'm not even sure if i should type this out but whatever. I think i might be loosing my mind. I'm kind of introverted and i don't always have something to say to anyone and its been affecting my love life to the point where its causing deep depression. My family is constantly asking when I'm going to find someone because they are all married with kids and i never really have an answer. I work in an office where I'm the only man in my area of the building and the women always compare me to the other men that come in and flirt and give them attention. I ignored it at first until they started comparing me to a friend. Ive started to become extremely insecure because of this.

People are always asking me why I'm so quiet and i just try to say that I'm just busy but really i just never have anything to say. I made the mistake of falling for one of the women i work with because we started to hit it off but when she asked me how i felt and i told her, she turned and shit all over my feelings for her. And after that the other women started to treat me like an irritation. The slightest thing now causes them to look at me with this "what the f are you doing" look on their face. And to make things worse the girl that i liked is apparently going to screw my friend ( who knows i liked her ). The women where talking about a conversation she had with my friend during lunch ( guess they didn't realize i was on the other side of the room) The woman that i did like was talking about whether or not she should do it. At this point i don't know what to do anymore. I feel like i created this uncomfortable situation just by answering her question and now everyday i have to deal with it.

My depression and loneliness is causing me to have conversations with myself in my head because i have a hard time holding a conversation with anyone in person. And its also causing me to contemplate suicide because the pressure from family when it comes to finding someone to love. Half the time i don't even feel like a man because of how mute i become sometimes and I feel like I'm just not compatible with anyone anymore. I take care of my body and eat right, i don't dress like a bum, i make a good amount of money but none of that means shit when you're boring as fuck. Leaving Minnesota might be a good idea but i doubt it will change anything for me. I'm probably going to die alone.