In my teenage years, I was really narrow-minded and couldn't really empathize with others. I treated everyone how I wanted to be treated but since I didn't mind being treated in a bad way, I also treated others that way. I've never intentionally tried to hurt people with my words but I have and it just hurts me inside remembering all the vile stuff I've said. I've never cried this much in my life and it makes me feel like garbage. I was really insensitive in the past and I'm having a hard time trying to forget all the stupid shit I've said. Being one of the only non-white kids in my super conservative high school, I'd make edgy jokes making fun of myself and others just to fit in, and going to college has given me a whole different perspective on societal issues. I've apologized to one of my friends and they've accepted the apology and we are on good terms now but I said some ignorant/insensitive stuff to another group of my friends but they still haven't accepted it even though I've apologized for it several times.

It also doesn't help that society has become so unforgiving of past mistakes and expects everyone to have a clean slate. Some ignorant thing you said years ago can destroy your life, even though people can change so much in just a couple of years. I just hope I don't get judged on who I was but rather by who I am now.