Let’s start off with saying I’m a pretty introverted person. I stay out of peoples way and mind my own business. And apparently that causes problems with my family.

I recently moved back into my moms house after a breakup (MI-CA). I was and still am unable to afford my own place which is why I’m suffering. I have 4 cats and a puppy who, is a puppy and does puppy things. With how much I work, I can’t watch them. So I leave them home. Sometimes I work 7am-5pm, other times I work 7pm to 4am.
I started dating this guy who is absolutely amazing but if I leave my dog home when I spend the night, I get the full on lecture about being irresponsible and not caring about anyone else. I would say he’s home about 50% of the week. Maybe more every other week. I make enough money to pay my bills and feed my pets and myself. I’ve offered to pay my family for watching J but was told I didn’t need to. I work all day, eat, come home and sleep. I avoid my family in order to avoid being blamed for everything wrong in their lives. I don’t “pay enough bills, I don’t stay home all day and watch my animals”, I don’t “clean up” after my siblings who are both over 15 years old, all I do is “spend money on amazon” (pet supplies- food, litter, poop bags & items for work) and “spend money on my boyfriend”. I pay 8-10 bills a month, I don’t have the extra money for anything fun or sometimes anything necessary (gas, groceries)

“It’s not all about money” my mother says after telling me that I don’t pay for things at her house. I don’t use their things, I buy my own groceries, I pay for my pets things. If they need a ride and I’m not doing anything, I give them a ride, do I get a thank you or an allowance for using my time and money on them? No.

They’ve made it painfully clear that I do not belong in their lives and boy, when I move out, I won’t be. It’s always 4 vs 1. I’m always wrong and not doing enough.

I do 100% choose my boyfriend over my family because of the shit they say and do. I’m tired. So tired of everything. They act like it’s my fault that they can’t afford to live in luxury and hire a maid. Is it my responsibility to take care of the house that I’m hardly in? Neither of my siblings go to a regular school, they’re both in a school where they have to be there for 4 hours a week. My brother plays on his computer or Xbox all day while my sister sleeps or goes to her job for a few hours. Why am I the only one expected to do anything? I’m the oldest child in the house sure but I’m not the one who’s always there.

I could go on for hours about the bs I deal with but will cut it off here.