Ive been dealing with this for almost 12 years now, but this woman messed me up. I worked for a family type facility for a number of years. I was a single guy and was around a ton of "Soccer Moms" for number of years, I was hit on and texted, sent pictures and pursued a number of times by all different types of moms. Some single/ Some married.

This was the norm for a while but i never crossed the line in dating on of my kids moms until Sarah came along (not her name) she came to our facility every day (gym) and would chat it up with me and we became pretty good friends. I knew she was married so i kept my distance, i was promoted to a different position and she came into my office to congratulate me on my new job and we started talking, She asked if she could close my office door so she could talk to me about something private about on of my staff members, i said of course and she shared some thing that didn't require the door to be closed. When she finished and said she had to go She asked for a hug, i was like sure. Well she then pinned me against the wall and kissed me. Me being single 29 year old guy i would like to say i resisted but honestly i probably didn't. We made out for a little bit in my office and then she left.

This honestly went on for a while she would come in workout stop by my office, we would flirt and shut the door and make out. Then she started to invite me to her house during lunch, i would go over to her house and well we did all sorts of things (With multiple people). This literally went on for 2 years, i didn't know her husband she never talked about him and during that time i didn't care.

Well i eventually moved a few states away, i tried to break it off but we never really, she even came down to see me a few times. Eventually it just died off, we stopped talking and now due to my own actions i don't trust anyone. I cant have a relationship without assuming i'm being cheated on. If my partner has a friend of a different sex i assume they are cheating on me, This is completely my fault i did this im not putting the blame on anyone besides me because I chose for this to continue.

Well the woman i had the relationship with ..... I'm still friends with on social media. She always post how much she loves her husband and her now 4 kids, she post how christian she is and these religious post about how to honor your family and when she gets tied up in debates that happen to pop up on my screen in drives to the point where i want to post something, but i never do.

I hate that i did this because now i cant maintain a healthy relationship and its my fault. This is the first time ive ever shared this. Im thinking about sharing this with my therapist soon. i know im going to catch hell for this but it was something i wanted to get out.