Our lack of things to talk about for that last week before you broke up with me was not a testament to the relationship we spent four years building. I was dealing with something I didn't even know was affecting me so much. I can't for the life of me remember if you ever told me that my depression had gotten so bad that I wasn't doing my part in our relationship. If you had asked me back then I would've told you I was ok despite the occasional bad days. I thought I had it under control, I thought that my lack of energy, my lack of interests, my lack of motivation was due to some other medical condition because everything seemed ok when I was with you but I couldn't hold a conversation with anyone.

I thought that the four years we spent together guaranteed me a chance to talk to you adult to adult about our relationship before it ended. I thought I would get a chance to have a discussion, if you were feeling a certain way about us why was it not a discussion? I said it once and I will say it again, you do NOT give up on the person you love. You talk things out, you figure out what's fair and what's right. If you had told me things were dying down, that I was a walking shell, that I was not doing my fair share of keeping the relationship alive I would've done my part. I would've fought with everything I've got, and you should have too. If this is truly about you thinking I was ready for marriage, then that too should have been a discussion because I have never pushed that on you. And if that is the case, tell me exactly what is so scary about being loved by someone that does not expect life to go in the normal course of things, that is willing to wait, happily, for the right time to take a committed long term relationship to the next step, someone that wants a career and a home before a wedding ring, that has the same expectations in life and the same tastes in food, music, and entertainment. Please tell me why you couldn't fight for me.

P.S. I miss you.