Posted Feb 7, 2012 by anonymous | 1022 views | 6 comments
I have a fascination, no, more like an obsession with pretending to be another person. Not a real person, or even a model of a real person. Just another "me", if you could even call it me. My obsession reaches as far as *becoming* another person, in the way a method actor may become their character. A self-fulfilling prophesy. One of the alter-egos I have created has become such an integral part of my being that I can no longer distinguish what I fabricated from what is real about myself. I have put intensive time and research into becoming this other person. I'm talking years. I wish I could make IDs for these characters so I could play them in more settings. I often spend days living the life of my alter-ego and I think I might be crazy. I don't want it to stop, but I think it may cause problems in the future with my relationships. I can't stop. The urge to transform myself into a character of my own twisted stories will always be burning inside of me. I don't hate who I am. I simply enjoy playing many different characters and all of reality is an opportune stage. I can't tell anyone I know, but it feels good to tell someone, anyone. Thank you for taking the time to read this, kind stranger.
Commented Feb 7, 2012 by anonymous
your alter ego isn't becoming you, your alter ego is you. what you're describing is just an exaggerated verion of what everyone does, every day. we all have different personality traits we enhance or suppress depending on circumstances and company. the way you are with your friends is usually very different from the way you are at work. i myself have at least four different aspects or personas. i even identify them differently by name. usually variations or derivatives of my real name or my nickname. sounds to me like you've just taken it further by creating a character to go along with the different personalities. creating a fake background to go with these characters is a slight worry. if you're very concerned and honestly can't keep track anymore, ask your family. they will know better than anyone what is true or false about your life.
Personality isn't 'real' in the sense that it exists - it doesn't. Personality is artificial and is either given and accepted or adopted and accepted. Any time you say ' I am this or that' you are creating or re-inforcing the personality you either ended up being given by your friends, peers, authority figures and cuture. The problem with you is that you sound like you want to be a bunch of people - Sybil. It has been my experience that it's better to choose one character and be that.
Commented Feb 8, 2012 by anonymous
i agree with what the writer of the previous comment
it's what we all do, everyday
however, if you do not like the character you play then you are free to change roles
and this may be, just what you are doing,
the lies will get you in the end or rather much sooner than the end
so stop with that
self fulfilling prophecy.
that's what it is.
you create yourself in the image of how you want to be
personalities are just how we act
what really matters is what you do
what you are is always in a state of changing,
and is defined by more than just your moods,
and isn't really definable until after you die,
we are always 'becoming'--- until our last breaths
then what we are,---is what we will become after we've gone,
your alter ego is not the big problem
the ego itself is what is causing you to lie about who you are
but actually you are not lying about who you are,
you are only lying about who you have been
that is to say, unless you play your alter ego role with an accent or a fake limp, complete with dramatic stories of how you got the limp
the ego part is what you need to rid yourself of
it is much stronger and deceitful than any of us think
it does not have our best interests in mind
------play the role you want to play
be the person that you would hope other people would say that you were after you are gone
if you know that we our own architects
our own playwrights
then write yourself the best play you can
a play or a film you would enjoy watching
with a character of integrity and with admirable qualities
just stop lying about your past
trying to be something you're not
its the ego making you lie
it's here in your words too:
'â€¦..in the way a method actor may become their character. A self-fulfilling prophesyâ€¦. '...I wish I could make IDs for these characters so I could play them in more settings'...
and in this comment you show how really confused you actually are:
'...I don't hate who I am. I simply enjoy playing many different characters and all of reality is an opportune stage....'
maybe you do hate yourself
but it's just the ego
it wants you to feel bad
so that it can feel good
that is how it works
maybe you don't define ego this way
but it might be time for you to start to redefine it
you will find that you will like yourself more
hell my ego- is all over this comment
i could go back and change every time i said 'you' to 'us' then it would be better
and i only say 'better'because when you present ideas to people
they are better received without ego
i am no better than you or anyone else
i am flawed as well
be whatever you want to be
just don't stop trying to be a better you
--------i think my head is going to explode
and i think i hate myself too
i am a fool
i know nothing
i am a liar too
this comment is more for me than it is for you
thank you to me
then again i just say this shit without a filter
i am probably wrong
do whatever you want
Concentrate on what you are. Just be yourself, try to remove egoistic behavior.
Commented Feb 9, 2012 by anonymous
I HAD AN ALTER EGO AND IT WAS AWESOME. I WAS KIK FLIPPING BITCHES AND I WAS LIKE :'WOAHHHHHHHH BAACK THE FUCK UP BITCHES!' ;D
-ADDED TO THATT! I WAS PREGNANT WITH BABIES AND MARRIED IN MONTANAA. FUCK YEAHHHH, I REGRET NOTHINGG!!!
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